"We Don't Say Those Words in Class!"

A time when you witnessed an adult (or yourself) reprimand or silence a child after he or she pointed out someone they saw as different (e.g., "That lady talks funny," " That man only has one leg!" "Why is that man so pretty!"). Include what the child said and what the adult did or said in response. (Note: If you cannot think of a specific time ask a friend or family member. I recalled a time when I was a Job Coach and I took a group of students to Target to work. A lady was shopping with her daughter who I would guess was about three or four years old. She needed assistance finding a certain item and because my students were required to wear what Target employees wore, they had on their khaki pants and red shirt, they also wore their Target name tags. So, naturally she assumed they were Target employees. She asked one of the young men if he knew where she could find a certain sale item. Well, he stuttered and did not speak clearly because of his disability, and the daughter listening ,automatically looked at him and said in a loud voice, “WHY  YOU TALK SO FUNNY AND MAKE THAT FUNNY SOUND ?Her mother  said “That’s not nice to say “and instantly took her daughter by the hand and they went down another aisle. I was standing nearby and witnessed the whole thing .The student was obviously upset and asked me why that little girl made fun of the way he talked. I told him that sometimes parents have a hard time explaining why people are different .I assured him that he did not do anything wrong. He continued to straighten up the shelf he was working on. I went to find the lady and her daughter, when I did, I introduced myself as the job coach and told her that the employee she asked for help was a special need High School student, learning a job skill to help him get a job when he graduate. She immediately apologized to me for her daughter’s behavior. I accepted her apology on my student’s behalf and she continued her shopping.

What messages might have been communicated to this child by the adult's response. The mother’s action could have sent the message to the daughter that they don’t like the idea of associating with people who talked funny or have a disability. The mother could have used that situation to teach her daughter about people with disabilities, rather than taking her daughter away from the situation.

An example of how an anti-bias educator might have responded to support the child's (or classroom's )  understanding An anti-bias educator might have responded by introducing the student to the daughter and having the student actually tell the daughter about his disability. The anti –bias educator  might even have invited the mother and daughter to come visit the student’s class and meet some of his friends. At that time they might want to have information for the mother about biases, disabilities and how to talk to young children about being different.